The Tameside Radio presenter's column this week is packed with phrases which some of us may consider to be commonly used - but apparently they're not anymore!

As it was Chinese New Year on Tuesday, I indulged in a cheeky Sunday evening visit to my local takeaway for a treat last weekend, and it was tickety-boo. 

In fact, my plate was chock-a-block with chicken and cashew nuts. Behold the Year of the Tiger, 2022.

Did you find yourself confused by anything in that last paragraph? It turns out many phrases which I assumed were still in common parlance are in fact withering on the vine, as language moves on and a new generation finds its own words. The findings come from a new survey by researchers Perspectus Global, and are based on a sample of 2,000 adults aged from 18 to 50.

Top of the tree, and I have to confess I’m not familiar with this one - is pearls before swine. The Collins dictionary states that if someone is casting pearls before swine, they are wasting their time by offering something that is helpful or valuable to someone who does not appreciate or understand it. Perhaps like reading Shakespeare to your cat, or offering advice on the definition of a party to the Prime Minister.

I’ve heard of all the rest of the top ten. Let’s see how you score, with the percentage who hadn’t heard of the phrases in brackets. You can have ten points for each that you know or have used in the past.

Nail your colours to the mast (71 per cent) - during the Brexit debate, many of us did this on both sides of the argument. I am sure I was muted on Twitter by some as a consequence. Ah well.

Colder than a witch’s tit (71 per cent) - not a rude phrase, I promise. This is a family newspaper! It’s based on the legend from the 1600 that witches had wrinkly skin and icy blood. I was a bit nervous saying it on Tameside Radio the other morning, but am now going to try and work it into some small talk at the shops. I can hide my smirk behind my face covering.

Pip pip (70 per cent) - a way of saying cheerio. It does make you sound a bit daft, mind.

Know your onions (68 per cent) - I once did a competition with this title on the radio, giving away a bag of onions from the local market in Huddersfield. It wasn’t even the worst prize I’ve given away. That was a £1 Woolworths voucher in Darlington. I assumed it was a typo. Not even enough for half a bag of pick ‘n’ mix or an Atomic Kitten CD single!

Nod’s as good as a wink (66 per cent) - famously used in a Monty Python sketch, but this dates back much further. It implies that a subtle gesture is all that’s needed to explain a situation, and can often involve a smidge of double entendre. Risky in comedy these days.

Stitch in time saves nine (64 per cent) - something your parents would say! Derived from sewing, with the idea that one big stitch done properly saves having to do further repairs down the line. In other words, a job done properly beats a rush job. It was used in one of the Downing Street briefings in 2020 by Boris Johnson. Simpler times.

Ready for the knacker’s yard (62 per cent) - how I feel when the 5am alarm goes off most mornings. And definitely how I look in the mirror!

Dropped a clanger (60 per cent) - a classic. Cannot believe the low recognition on this one.

A fly in the ointment (59 per cent) - seriously? This is one I use all the time. I wonder who they surveyed for this codswallop (also on the list). It takes the biscuit! (as is this). I guess some phrases are a flash in the pan (yes, so is this).

I’ve saved my favourite few morsels for the last bit of this column. Curtain twitcher is simply superb. A cordial hello to our neighbours over the road at number 7, who this phrase was invented for! I hope you have a good week, and don’t get your knickers in a twist.

In the meantime, I’m off to see a man about a dog, and be a legend in my own lunchtime. I’m mighty glad that this newspaper doesn’t cost a bomb. Cherish some of these phrases, as we’ll certainly miss them when they are gone. Or am I flogging a dead horse? Drop me a line for a chinwag about it. Pip pip!

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